I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
