Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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