white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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