Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
