FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
