remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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