Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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