I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
