Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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