Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize