What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
A+ Viking dick
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
