I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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