i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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