I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
