Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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