I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
