Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
