Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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