i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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