I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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