I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
