areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
