then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
