Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
