I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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