Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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