why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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