Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
