your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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