whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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