I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
