Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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