the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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