I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
