Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
