Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
