the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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