He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Who died my cat blue again?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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