I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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