Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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