Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
