i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
