I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize