Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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