Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
