No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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