what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
