There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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