I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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