in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
