I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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