I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
