Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
