He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
