the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
