WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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