hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
