you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
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Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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