OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
