New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
