So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
