I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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