dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
