question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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