Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
