Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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